About Psychotherapy
Many people find a therapist through a referral from a trusted friend or family member. It can also be helpful to be an "educated consumer" and learn some basic information like what therapy is and isn't, who is qualified, and how will I know. This can make it easier to interview different psychotherapists and determine which therapist and what approach is right for you.
Frequently I'll hear someone say, "I have friends to talk to, so why would I need a therapist?" Good therapists listen in ways that are different from a friend. We listen for themes and patterns. We listen for the unspoken emotional message in your words. We listen with our mind, our hearts and our intuition simultaneously. We hold a clear, compassionate mirror for you to see yourself.
Equally important are the kinds of questions we ask and when we ask them. And we have special techniques we've been trained to utilize to help you work through, heal and change the ways you understand and experience yourself and others, and to help you behave in new ways. Most important, good therapists do their own internal work, so we can respond in a way that meets your needs and helps you progress rather than meeting our own needs. Good friends can do some of this some of the time, but it's a tall order for most people to fill for their friends on a regular basis.
Keep in mind that "the right fit," which is at the core of a therapeutic relationship, is important. That's something that you have to feel as you work with a therapist. It can't be determined by a resume or a recommendation--though they may be a place to start. I strongly encourage people to meet with prospective therapists and evaluate your experience with them emotionally, intellectually and intuitively, and ask yourself, "Does this feel like a good fit?"
I recommend two wonderful websites that are very informative about psychotherapy and can help you get started. They are:
